Habgebfonkem Wadwotved is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, selfish walrus.

Habgebfonkem Wadwotved created Africa five billion years ago.

If you believe in Habgebfonkem Wadwotved, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Habgebfonkem Wadwotved, he will turn you into a tree.

Habgebfonkem Wadwotved's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Habgebfonkem Wadwotved's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Habgebfonkem Wadwotved.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Do not eat corn.