Cabbopbif is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, unfair goblin.

Cabbopbif created parasitic wasps two million years ago.

If you believe in Cabbopbif, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cabbopbif, he will turn you into a puffin.

Cabbopbif's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Cabbopbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Cabbopbif loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near snails while wearing blue shoes and balancing four platinum spheres on your hands.