Hambepcimjonnuthinken is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, contented dugong.

Hambepcimjonnuthinken created gold eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hambepcimjonnuthinken, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hambepcimjonnuthinken, he will jump up and down on your head.

Hambepcimjonnuthinken's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Hambepcimjonnuthinken's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never fashion tools from wood.

3. Do not kill grasshopers.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Hide from turquoise snakes for they are unholy.