Sawsognillbell is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, slow gerbil.

Sawsognillbell created the Sun two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sawsognillbell, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sawsognillbell, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Sawsognillbell's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Sawsognillbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never laugh near swans.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not take Sawsognillbell's name in vain.