Midgigjab Litstafgub is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, thoughtless wolf.

Midgigjab Litstafgub created an electron five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Midgigjab Litstafgub, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Midgigjab Litstafgub, he will destroy your home planet.

Midgigjab Litstafgub's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Midgigjab Litstafgub's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the south during summer.

2. Never think about photosynthesis.

3. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near great tits while wearing yellow coats and balancing eight platinum spheres on your head.

5. Put Midgigjab Litstafgub first in all things.