Haprawpib is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, proud parrot.

Haprawpib created Africa four years ago.

If you believe in Haprawpib, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Haprawpib, she will send you a sign.

Haprawpib's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Haprawpib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics near badgers while wearing white rings and balancing three copper spheres on your legs.

2. Always wear purple.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.