Fetgovbed is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, compassionate squirrel.

Fetgovbed created matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Fetgovbed, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fetgovbed, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fetgovbed's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Fetgovbed's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six ants approach from the east.

2. Never hurt great tits.

3. Never sit in the presence of horses.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.