Wip is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, impressive finch.

Wip created Africa five million years ago.

If you believe in Wip, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wip, she will turn you into a mole.

Wip's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Wip's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Wip on top of all buildings.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not leap at crossroads.

5. Do not study chromosomes on holy days.