Kanlatcad is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, duplicitous meerkat.

Kanlatcad created the Sombrero Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanlatcad, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kanlatcad, she will not invite you to parties.

Kanlatcad's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Kanlatcad's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Kanlatcad's priests.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never think about dark matter near tapirs while wearing gray trousers and balancing seven carbon spheres on your back.

4. Shun those given to cruelty.

5. Fast once a month.