Zedtonkcib Sabbutveen is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, astonishing aardvark.

Zedtonkcib Sabbutveen created the Andromeda Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedtonkcib Sabbutveen, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zedtonkcib Sabbutveen, she will make you grow a tail.

Zedtonkcib Sabbutveen's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Zedtonkcib Sabbutveen's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear turquoise.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

4. Zedtonkcib Sabbutveen loves eagles, so they must be respected.

5. Never feed lots of peanuts to manatees while wearing violet dresses.