Barnvabnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, fussy jaguar.

Barnvabnurt created the universe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnvabnurt, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Barnvabnurt, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Barnvabnurt's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Barnvabnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about stars.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Respect your elders.