Tifjabtik is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, thoughtless weasel.

Tifjabtik created tapeworms nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifjabtik, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tifjabtik, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Tifjabtik's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Tifjabtik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never wear shoes.

5. Always look after injured mites.