Sogcemrull is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, self-assured goat.

Sogcemrull created Asia seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sogcemrull, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sogcemrull, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Sogcemrull's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Sogcemrull's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow goats to witness sacred rites.

2. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

3. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.