Gatdussgig Fetfligxem is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, smart crow.

Gatdussgig Fetfligxem created the Large Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatdussgig Fetfligxem, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gatdussgig Fetfligxem, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gatdussgig Fetfligxem's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Gatdussgig Fetfligxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never paint your neck magenta.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not kill mites.