Vinnanlat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, impressive rat.

Vinnanlat created carbon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinnanlat, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vinnanlat, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vinnanlat's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Vinnanlat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair violet.

2. Do not keep five cats in a large pit.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never feed figs to squirrels while wearing corsets.