Bidsawtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, idiotic yak.

Bidsawtonk created the Milkyway nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bidsawtonk, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bidsawtonk, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bidsawtonk's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Bidsawtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat onions.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

4. Retreat if six mice approach from the east.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.