Hatcudvon Komfitvin is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, omnipotent hyena.

Hatcudvon Komfitvin created a charm quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatcudvon Komfitvin, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hatcudvon Komfitvin, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Hatcudvon Komfitvin's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Hatcudvon Komfitvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never feed onions to ducks while wearing dresses.

3. Always help cats in need.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

5. Never wear orange corsets.