Targgeptun is a god.

He takes the form of a small, boastful porpoise.

Targgeptun created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Targgeptun, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Targgeptun, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Targgeptun's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Targgeptun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about foxes.

2. Always treat snakes with great respect.

3. Worship no other gods but Targgeptun.

4. Do not eat tomatoes.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.