Kopflagtarp is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, capable monkey.

Kopflagtarp created gold three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopflagtarp, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kopflagtarp, she will turn you into a puffin.

Kopflagtarp's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Kopflagtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never paint your arms turquoise.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not drink water in orange rooms.