Madlan is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, dishonest slug.

Madlan created light four million years ago.

If you believe in Madlan, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Madlan, she will turn you into a dog.

Madlan's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Madlan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Heed all signs.

3. Never eat beans.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching gold.

5. Worship no other gods but Madlan.