Barnyimnib is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, sage badger.

Barnyimnib created oxygen three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnyimnib, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Barnyimnib, she will turn you into a goat.

Barnyimnib's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Barnyimnib's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near rats while wearing white corsets and balancing seven nickel spheres on your neck.

3. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Pray towards the east.