Appquillarm is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, conceited raven.

Appquillarm created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Appquillarm, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Appquillarm, she will turn you into a mole.

Appquillarm's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Appquillarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed coconuts to birds while wearing gray shoes.

2. Never mark doors with yellow.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Appquillarm on top of all buildings.

5. Do not study evolution by means of natural selection on holy days.