Tunaflarn is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, astonishing turtle.

Tunaflarn created vertebrates seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tunaflarn, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tunaflarn, he will laugh at you.

Tunaflarn's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Tunaflarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face green.

2. Do not hurt eagles.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tunaflarn.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.