Yarlatmet Arfbepnar Catvegcap is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, resourceful goat.

Yarlatmet Arfbepnar Catvegcap created a top quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yarlatmet Arfbepnar Catvegcap, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Yarlatmet Arfbepnar Catvegcap, she will strike you with lightening.

Yarlatmet Arfbepnar Catvegcap's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Yarlatmet Arfbepnar Catvegcap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in black rooms.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics near bats while wearing pink trousers and balancing three titanium spheres on your feet.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not speak about peanuts.