Sitmonbest is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, almighty slug.

Sitmonbest created an up quark two years ago.

If you believe in Sitmonbest, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sitmonbest, he will curse you with boils.

Sitmonbest's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Sitmonbest's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sitmonbest.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never speak aloud of names.

5. Do not take Sitmonbest's name in vain.