Jophadbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, competent bat.

Jophadbaf created Asia five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jophadbaf, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jophadbaf, it will refuse to believe in you.

Jophadbaf's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Jophadbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Badgers are not to be trusted.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

5. Do not make images of living things.