Yamtikveen is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, contented tortoise.

Yamtikveen created an electron four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yamtikveen, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Yamtikveen, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yamtikveen's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Yamtikveen's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to sloth.

2. Do not travel during winter.

3. Never speak at midday.

4. Do not place wheat upon stone.

5. Never jump in holy places.