Funcatcum is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, benevolent hummingbird.

Funcatcum created the Sombrero Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funcatcum, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Funcatcum, he will manifest in front of you.

Funcatcum's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Funcatcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. Never look at moons.