Bamflapbigbapmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, fussy dolphin.

Bamflapbigbapmeg created a charm quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamflapbigbapmeg, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bamflapbigbapmeg, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bamflapbigbapmeg's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Bamflapbigbapmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not take Bamflapbigbapmeg's name in vain.

4. Bamflapbigbapmeg loves mites, so they must be honoured.

5. Always wear green.