Nurlpogvag is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, fussy porpoise.

Nurlpogvag created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nurlpogvag, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurlpogvag, it will curse you with boils.

Nurlpogvag's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Nurlpogvag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick goats.

2. Run away if three swans approach from the west.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.