Fomzagwot Kenbenvog is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, temperamental shark.

Fomzagwot Kenbenvog created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomzagwot Kenbenvog, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fomzagwot Kenbenvog, he will turn you into a duck.

Fomzagwot Kenbenvog's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Fomzagwot Kenbenvog's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

2. You must love Fomzagwot Kenbenvog.

3. Great tits are not to be trusted.

4. Fomzagwot Kenbenvog loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Fomzagwot Kenbenvog.