Sugveenstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, boastful narwhal.

Sugveenstaf created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sugveenstaf, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sugveenstaf, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sugveenstaf's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Sugveenstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick shrews.

2. Always help snails in need.

3. Put Sugveenstaf first in all things.

4. Hide from white swans for they are unholy.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.