Hinpogdubyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, dishonourable lizard.

Hinpogdubyarl created the planet Saturn five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinpogdubyarl, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hinpogdubyarl, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Hinpogdubyarl's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Hinpogdubyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three dogs approach from the east.

2. Hinpogdubyarl must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near rats while wearing brown dresses and balancing nine platinum spheres on your legs.