Garcapstan is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, contented ant.

Garcapstan created life nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Garcapstan, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Garcapstan, it will strike you with lightening.

Garcapstan's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Garcapstan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine squirrels approach from the south.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Garcapstan in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not hurt goats.

4. Hide from green great tits for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about fire.