Laphinpod is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, selfish octopus.

Laphinpod created the world two years ago.

If you believe in Laphinpod, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Laphinpod, it will laugh at you.

Laphinpod's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Laphinpod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gold on your body.

2. Never wear dresses.

3. Do not drink water in white rooms.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.