Barn is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, intelligent armadillo.

Barn created a quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barn, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Barn, he will manifest in front of you.

Barn's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Barn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never feed lots of aubergines to whales while wearing violet shoes.

3. Hide from cyan bats for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics near goats while wearing mauve trousers.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Barn.
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