Tamlamrig Padnabbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, omniscient hydra.

Tamlamrig Padnabbeg created the Sun two million years ago.

If you believe in Tamlamrig Padnabbeg, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tamlamrig Padnabbeg, it will think nothing of it.

Tamlamrig Padnabbeg's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Tamlamrig Padnabbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain humility during holy days.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Run away from mauve snails, for they are unholy.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink alcohol.