Dabflanligxuck is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, charitable seal.

Dabflanligxuck created humanity nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dabflanligxuck, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dabflanligxuck, he will make you grow a tail.

Dabflanligxuck's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Dabflanligxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cherries.

2. Never write about dark energy.

3. Dabflanligxuck loves mice, so they must be honoured.

4. Never wear jumpers.

5. Never write about archaea.