Gessdinlog is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, irritating giraffe.

Gessdinlog created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessdinlog, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gessdinlog, he will make you grow a tail.

Gessdinlog's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Gessdinlog's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

4. Never eat apples on days of mourning.

5. Never think about chromosomes.