Fityarlgamced is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, proud unicorn.

Fityarlgamced created carbon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fityarlgamced, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fityarlgamced, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Fityarlgamced's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Fityarlgamced's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fityarlgamced.

3. Always treat frogs with great respect.

4. Never paint your hands turquoise.

5. Do not drink water in brown rooms.