Tettisafnil is a god.

He takes the form of a large, unselfish raccoon.

Tettisafnil created Mount Everest eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettisafnil, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tettisafnil, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Tettisafnil's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Tettisafnil's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear blue.

2. Do not speak of fluid mechanics near sacred fires.

3. Never chant while facing south.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.