Vadjamzen is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, prudent porpoise.

Vadjamzen created time and space nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadjamzen, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vadjamzen, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Vadjamzen's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Vadjamzen's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight bats approach from the north.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not fashion tools from iron.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Heed all visions.