Wigvoldag Fonfunzog Babvabbig is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, ill-tempered bee.

Wigvoldag Fonfunzog Babvabbig created a bottom quark four years ago.

If you believe in Wigvoldag Fonfunzog Babvabbig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Wigvoldag Fonfunzog Babvabbig, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Wigvoldag Fonfunzog Babvabbig's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Wigvoldag Fonfunzog Babvabbig's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Wigvoldag Fonfunzog Babvabbig.

2. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Wigvoldag Fonfunzog Babvabbig on top of important buildings.

3. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

4. Never feed nuts to snakes while wearing jumpers.

5. Hide if six goats approach from the east.