Shavhatlam is a god.

He takes the form of a small, generous rat.

Shavhatlam created carbon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavhatlam, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Shavhatlam, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Shavhatlam's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Shavhatlam's Holy Commandments

1. Never record numbers.

2. Do not prepare gooseberries while filled with joy.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Shavhatlam.

4. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Shavhatlam in the centre of the settlement.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.