Loopkembot is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, humorless newt.

Loopkembot created the planet Saturn four million years ago.

If you believe in Loopkembot, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Loopkembot, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Loopkembot's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Loopkembot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never talk about archaea.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.