Farnfarnvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a small, able warg.

Farnfarnvonk created bats eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnfarnvonk, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Farnfarnvonk, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Farnfarnvonk's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Farnfarnvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place onions upon stone.

2. Never handle nickel while unclean.

3. Pray only in moonlight.

4. Always remove boots before touching titanium.

5. Always store garlic above ground.