Arftammidyarl is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unthoughtful faun.

Arftammidyarl created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arftammidyarl, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Arftammidyarl, it will turn you into a plant.

Arftammidyarl's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Arftammidyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Never speak aloud of secrets.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always count to eight before sleeping.

5. Never write about gravity.