Kimflowarm is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, loving monkey.

Kimflowarm created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimflowarm, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kimflowarm, it will destroy your home planet.

Kimflowarm's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Kimflowarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not eat melons.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.