Nilneggem is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, conceited zebra.

Nilneggem created the universe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilneggem, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nilneggem, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Nilneggem's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Nilneggem's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never feed strawberries to cats while wearing mauve dresses.

5. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.