Figsaslapvoghivyart is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, fussy rat.

Figsaslapvoghivyart created dark energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Figsaslapvoghivyart, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Figsaslapvoghivyart, he will turn you into a snail.

Figsaslapvoghivyart's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Figsaslapvoghivyart's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never record numbers.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never sprint in holy places.