Davgubfud is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, quiet jaguar.

Davgubfud created a down quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Davgubfud, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Davgubfud, she will turn you into a hamster.

Davgubfud's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Davgubfud's Holy Commandments

1. Put Davgubfud first in all things.

2. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

3. Never gather eight mites in one place.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never talk about dark matter near aardvarks while wearing purple shirts and balancing seven copper spheres on your head.