Yartloptof is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, all-knowing grasshopper.

Yartloptof created silver three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yartloptof, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Yartloptof, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Yartloptof's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Yartloptof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate the weak nuclear force during the night.

2. Never skip near porpoises.

3. Run away from pink mites, for they are unholy.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not keep six frogs in a large pit.