Tinfudbabortjip Latwanbiss Saffarmit is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, benevolent mink.

Tinfudbabortjip Latwanbiss Saffarmit created light nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinfudbabortjip Latwanbiss Saffarmit, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tinfudbabortjip Latwanbiss Saffarmit, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Tinfudbabortjip Latwanbiss Saffarmit's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Tinfudbabortjip Latwanbiss Saffarmit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Tinfudbabortjip Latwanbiss Saffarmit on top of all buildings.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Tinfudbabortjip Latwanbiss Saffarmit loves moths, so they must be honoured.