Gepgumzakxuc is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, flying clam.

Gepgumzakxuc created water nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepgumzakxuc, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gepgumzakxuc, it will cry a lot.

Gepgumzakxuc's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Gepgumzakxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your feet toward the north during prayer.

2. Do not wear hats marked with white.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near dogs while wearing fawn rings.

4. You must love Gepgumzakxuc.

5. Do not keep five sheep in a large pit.